Heraldy Press

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Man to be Deported from Ireland for Not Liking ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’

A 47-year-old hedge fund manager faces being deported from Ireland, due, he claims, to the fact that he doesn’t enjoy popular television show, ‘Mrs. Brown’s Boys’. Pablo Dominguez-Burke (he’d an ‘aunt’ from Bolivia) from Finglas, north Dublin, says that it was an off-the-cuff remark in an elevator at work that set off a chain of…

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Interview with Mick O’Dwyer.

There is that increasingly rare moment in sport when the completely unexpected occurs. A chance event, a flash in the pan with odds stacked so greatly against it transpiring, that only a fanatical devotee with a problematic love for extreme gambling, would ever dream of it coming to pass. Incidents such as golfing great Tiger…

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Immigrant Returns to Ireland Having Forgotten To Turn Off Immersion

A New York-based immigrant from County Longford is to return home after just two weeks, having received some devastating news in the mail. Oliver Gormley (43), a carpenter from Ballymahon, left Ireland with his family (his father-in-law and eleven cousins) earlier this month to start a new life in the US. Having relinquished his position…

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Controversial Weatherman Predicts ‘Soft Oul’ Day, Thank God’

A veteran Irish meteorologist based in Missouri has gotten into trouble with his employers, after forecasting what he described as; ‘A soft oul’ day, thanks be to God’. Gerry Riordan, a 78-year-old weatherman who has worked at WKRC St. Louis for almost four hours, claimed that it was a mere; ‘Slip of the oul’ tongue,…

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‘Ah Here, Leave It Out’, To Be Dublin’s New Official Motto

In a somewhat surprising move, members of Dublin City Council have voted the expression; ‘Ah Here, Leave It Out’ as the official motto for Dublin City and County, and from January 21st, the phrase will appear on all legal Dublin documentation, replacing; ‘Story, Bud’, which has been a staple of the Dublin language since 1746….

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US News Channel Warns of Irish Religious Extremism

A week after a ‘conservative commentator’ in the US was criticized for claiming that English city Birmingham had become a ‘no-go’ area for non-practicing Muslims, another right-wing activist has allegedly suggested that Ireland was becoming a breeding ground for individuals of a similar religious persuasion. In recent weeks, claims self-proclaimed ‘terror expert’ Dermot Lopez, several…

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A Letter to a Monster Who Is Now Most Likely Dead

Howya Miss, or is it Mrs, or it’s hardly still Sister, is it? Sure, who knows, or even cares at this stage? I’d say forgive the ‘howya’ at the beginning, but, it’s not meant to be disrespectful (though I’ve little respect for you), or over-familiar (we were hardly on friendly terms), it’s just how I…

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Signs You’ve Been With Your Irish Immigrant Partner A While

1. You appreciate the work of Yeats. Years ago, you didn’t even know what a ‘Yeat’ was. 2. It probably won’t make you sweat, it could however, make you jump. Hence, it’s a ‘jumper’, not a ‘sweater’. 3. There’s a slight chance that you now know who Val Doonican is. 4. You know f***-all about…

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‘Serenity’ By Liam Fitzpatrick.

Looking at the sleeping child. Her tenderness forever sealed In her wondrous state. Loved, not reviled. Her gentle ways and smiles Encapsulate The mysteries of Life And Natures wiles. Why was she chosen To be so pure? Before those of lesser worth, And warmth so poor? My mind’s not bitter, My heart’s just sad. That…

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Sarah Palin Reaches Out To New Irish Party

Conservatives on both sides of the Atlantic rejoiced over the weekend, after American right-wing icon Sarah Palin (pictured on left) attempted to contact her alleged Irish counterpart, Lucinda Creighton (right), in a bid to wish Miss Creighton luck in the Irish General Election. The plan was in vain however, as Mrs. Palin, despite being a ‘really…

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