Heraldy Press

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More Posh Irish Chicks in NYC Than Dublin

Dublin, where the posh chicks moved from. According to the results of a recent survey, carried out jointly by a number of Irish and American institutions, there are more ‘posh’ Irish women in New York than there are in Dublin. The study, compiled by Harvard Business School, Yale’s Political Science Department and East Limerick’s College…

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Irish Hipsters To Boycott NY’s Non Craft Beer Bars

Coffee and an ‘ironic’ hipster musical instrument. A self-proclaimed Irish ‘hipster’ and his two friends will be boycotting every drinking establishment which stocks anything other than craft beers in the coming weeks. Davie ‘Nicholas’ Dwyer, originally from Sligo but now based in Brooklyn, claims that bars and restaurants that stock the likes of Heineken, Bud…

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Ireland’s 33rd County Found by Divers

Ireland as it looks from a hot-air balloon or a very tall ladder. Ireland’s archaeologists, divers, historians and scientists are in a state of excitement, following the discovery last week of a major land mass several hundred meters below the water’s surface off the coast of County Wexford. Upon first inspection, locals felt that it…

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Cork Man Admits Dublin Is Ireland’s Capital

Side by side on their sideboard, oh lord, why can’t we? An elderly man from Cork has, for the first time in his life, acknowledged Dublin as the real capital city of Ireland. To the disgust of his neighbors, family, friends, former cellmates and at least one mistress, Seanie ‘Dave’ O’Driscoll (87) last week said…

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Marching Season’s All About The Hats Says Top Unionist

A bowler hat, pictured without Orangeman underneath. Hughie ‘Hugh’ Syndrome, a high-ranking member of the Lovelier Unionists Movement, has claimed that despite developing a reputation of bullying, beatings and bigotry over the years, the real reason that Orangemen continue with their marches throughout Ulster in the summer time is down to the other ‘B-word’, bowler…

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Man To Be Deported for Not Liking ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’.

A telly, which ‘Mrs. Brown’s Boys’ was probably on. A 47-year-old hedge fund manager faces being deported from Ireland, due, he claims, to the fact that he doesn’t enjoy the popular television show, ‘Mrs. Brown’s Boys’. Pablo Dominguez-Burke (he’d an ‘aunt’ from Bolivia) from Finglas, north Dublin (so he claims), says that it was an…

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Garth Brooks Fans Accused of Being Awful Eejits

A guitar, with some Jaffa Cakes. A country music superstar, or to describe him more accurately, a bloke who sings in a cowboy hat, is alleged to be disappointed and a little amused with the fact that many of his fans, both in Ireland and other countries, have difficulty spelling his (two syllable) name. Garth…

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Mass is No Craic Anymore Says Priest

A popular Irish priest, now based in the US, has claimed that mass is no longer any craic. Father Seth Goldstein, a 44-year-old cousin of nine based in Wisconsin, said that due mainly to a few hundred bad eggs on the tree, that mass was no fun, forcing people to stay away in droves. He…

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