Lucan Hands Back Rights to McGregor

Conor-McGregor-4An Irish town has withdrawn its claim for Conor McGregor, after the champion’s defeat in Las Vegas at the weekend. Lucan, County Dublin, as represented by its official voice, Facebook page ‘Lucan Life’, claimed that it would consider selling the bragging rights back to Crumlin. His loss to Nate Diaz has left Lucan scrambling for a new sporting hero to idolize, with local experts looking into the ancestry of Leitrim corner-forward Oliver Fitzgibbon, legendary soccer stars Phil Babb and Zico and snooker player Willie Thorne. One of whom may even get to be Grand Marshal at this year’s Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, if they can’t find a Lucan-based TD to do so.

One McGregor fanatic, and contributor at ‘Lucan Life’, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said; ‘Sure they’re bleedin’ muppets at Lucan Life. They don’t even admit who they are or nothin’.I seen them at a bar in the village, with their Lucan Life shirts and breadboards and kites and that. Buyin’ pints and sittin’ quietly in the corner. They think they’re bleedin’ great, so they do. I’ve been a fan of McGregor ages, I do watch his matches on the telly even, sometimes, if I’ve not had too many scoops like’. The man, a 27-year-old married painter and decorator from Laraghcon who has three kids and nine cousins, and rides a Raleigh Burner (with chrome mag wheels), went on to say that Lucan Life wasn’t a true indicator of the views, feelings and religious persuasions of the people of Lucan. ‘Sure they’re a shower of sh***s, so they are’, he added.

Other favorites to claim McGregor’s birthrights from Lucan, are Enniscorthy, Mullingar (where 896 former Lucanites have migrated to, due to its sunnier climate and cleaner beaches) and Blanchardstown, though if he wins his next fight, Lucan, according to the moderators at Lucan Life, will be more than happy to give him a second chance at being a Lucanite.


2 comments for “Lucan Hands Back Rights to McGregor

  1. aoife teague
    March 7, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    This is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read.

    • D
      March 8, 2016 at 7:47 am

      Clearly you have no sense of humour then

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