Heraldy Press


Tired of Stereotypes, Cavan Man Leaves Tip in Restaurant

Some money, yesterday.

Dermot McKeever, a 34-year-old semi-retired seamstress from Bailieborough, County Cavan, has hit back at critics of his home county, who claim that people from that area are reluctant to part with money. Mr. McKeever, who is reported to have made his fortune sewing Heavy Metal/Hard Rock patches on to his schoolfriends’ jackets back in the ’80s, left a 9% tip to his server, Katherine Gibbons, after dining at Dessie’s Kebab House in his home town last weekend. When asked whether this was a regular occurrence, Katherine, who wishes to remain anonymous, said; ‘Nah’. Cavan has the 23rd highest rate of tipping in the country, and Dermot hopes to help his beloved homeland improve upon that position. Speaking with The Heraldy Press a few minutes ago, he said; ‘Having been born and reared here, Cavan has always been one of my favorite counties, second only to Carlow for its scenery, and naturally, it’s reputation as the romance capital of the north midlands/lower northwest of the country is well-deserved’. That’s not what we asked him to comment upon, but sure, it’s too late to fix that now. When he did eventually get to the point and discuss tipping in Cavan, Dermot commented; ‘For too long we’ve suffered from the negative stereo-system that people from here don’t like to spend money. That’s wrong, three summers ago, I spent eight euro on a set of deck chairs at Derek’s Beachwear, I did return them in February because the weather was sh*te, but it still counts. If I continue to get the level of service which I experienced at Dessie’s Kebab House, which has sadly, since burned down, I will keep on tipping’. Probably not much though, as even his elderly mother Bernie described her son as being; ‘A stingy oul’ sh*te who wouldn’t spend Christmas’. Words by Bosco Coppell, Picture courtesy of Dearbhla’s Coffee Shop and Pest Control Services. 

Michael Fitzpatrick • June 14, 2014

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  1. Johann December 29, 2014 - 12:30 pm Reply

    Why do Cavan men have blue dicks? Because they are such tight fisted bastards

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