Heraldy Press


Kildare Man Furious At Idea Theft

A man using his umbrella against the Limerick weather yesterday. And another fellah.

A man from County Kildare (it’s one of the ones fairly far away from Roscommon) is said to be devastated, having seen what he claims was his idea, advertised on late-night television. Dave ‘David’ Sweeney (22), of no fixed-abode, but who once lived in a four-man tent (‘with a few other lads’) inside Jacob’s biscuit factory on the Dublin Road, claims that it was he who first thought up the idea for the ‘Chillow’, and not; ‘Some gobshite from America or Donegal or somewhere foreign’. The ‘Chillow’, a pillow which contains a small cooling mechanism within its innards, helps one enjoy sleep-filled nights, and is especially useful on warm, humid evenings (eight of which have been recorded in Limerick since the mid 1930s), as it remains cool against the user’s warm head. Speaking with The Heraldy Press, Sweeney said; ‘I seen it on the telly on Saturday last two weeks, and warn’t sure what it war what I war in observation of. One time I wished I had a big block of ice wrapped in a blanket when I fell asleep near a bonfire after a few pints, but sure, I was too tired to get up and away from the heat, and wound up with sunstroke. That’s when the idea of the chillow hit me first, but now some other bollocks is after robbin’ the idea and probably made hundreds off it. I bet he doesn’t have to sleep near bonfires either’. Sweeney won’t be seeking legal advice in the matter, he’ll just remain fairly annoyed. – Words by Bosco Coppell. Photo by Eleanor’s Umbrella Pics.  


Michael Fitzpatrick • June 11, 2014

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  1. Gillian Gill June 11, 2014 - 5:56 pm Reply

    I’ll have to get myself a chillow! Hehehe!

  2. Nat_A_Lie June 12, 2014 - 2:14 am Reply

    Wow! Eight recorded in Limerick? I had no idea there were that many! I will shoplift a Chillow and send the money that I would have paid for it onto yerman. It’s only right.

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