Heraldy Press

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Outrage as Irish Government Considers Weather Tax

A Cloud Shaped Like Ben Affleck, Yesterday. Anger has reached boiling point throughout Ireland as rumors concerning a controversial ‘Weather Tax’ continue to circulate. Following recent introductions such as the water rates, property tax and the universal social charge, reports filtering in to the nation’s media outlets are suggesting that in the coming months, Taoiseach…

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Irish Economy Turns Around as 4 New Jobs Created

Some money, with a toy car on it, yesterday. The Irish economy, for so long a source of derision, scorn, sympathy and menopause, is seemingly on the up, with a total of four new jobs having been created in the past eleven weeks. Of those positions, one, the post of Director General of RTE, Ireland’s…

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US Golfers to Retire After Another Rory Win

Rumors (that’s American for ‘rumours’) are circulating in golfing circles that a number of top US professionals are considering retirement due to the continued dominance in the sport of young Irishman, Rory McIlroy, who won his fourth major title earlier this year. A quick survey of the 812 professional golfers who applied to partake in…

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Report Says Rap is Biggest Pain in Arse Since Garth Gigs

A hip-hop fan, yesterday. A survey carried out in all Ireland’s 32 counties (they’re like American states, but they don’t bizarrely have different laws in each one, except Cavan and Wexford, sure it’s madness there) has determined what is causing the most frustration and annoyance to Irish people. According to the survey, hip-hop music is…

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Perverts Force Irish Bridges to Close

We’d No Pics of Pervs, So Here’s A Clown Instead. Dublin City Council will be closing a number of bridges in the city center, due to the continued actions of a number of sexually perverted canoeists operating in the region. Since last Tuesday lunchtime, complaints have been made by 187 women and two men, about…

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