A turnip-farmer called Stuart, probably.
“We were turnip-farmers by trade. My grandfather once told me that our family had been since the 18th century, providing the south Limerick and north Kerry area with turnips for generations. Kids would always beg their parents to let them come to our house for wondrous turnip treats. So, when we moved from our 120 acre turnip farm to a small flat in Limerick’s inner city, it was quite a change. We had a small window box, which fit three turnip seeds, and, I don’t know if you know the turnip business, but it takes time to nurture, love and develop such a contrary vegetable, so three adult male turnips every four years was not enough to live on. Three weeks ago, we moved to Chicago, all of us. It’s worked out great, my dad, with forty years farming experience changed direction, and now heads up a $4billion a year software company. It’s just as well, as I was allergic to turnips, even the thoughts of them gave me chronic diarrhea. Excuse me, I’ll be back in a few minutes”. – Stuart (49), formerly Limerick, now Chicago.