Enya Song Sees Punk Fired from Band

An Enya, or a Hucknall, yesterday

A musician with a New York-based punk outfit has been fired from the group he was a founding member of, after bandmates discovered some questionable material on his iPod. Len ‘Skunk’ Mossart, who formed Staten Island-based five-piece act, Gorefox, in 1983, was relieved of his duties as bassist and backing vocalist on Tuesday last, when, at a wedding reception, during the band’s break, he left his iPod playing on shuffle in the DJ booth.

It was from here that he had hoped to treat the guests to his personal choice of punk anthems. However, after a number of classic punk tunes by The Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Ramones, GBH and The Exploited, several other tracks surfaced, one of which, ‘Orinoco Flow’, by Irish new age artist Enya, had punters both embarrassed and livid.

The Heraldy Press spoke to one guest, (Bootboy) Billy Flanagan, a long-time fan of punk music, and a one-time possessor of the tallest mohawk hairstyle in the tri-state area. Said Billy: ‘We was just pogoing to the sounds man, it were like 1977 again, me and the boys just havin’ a laugh, when out of nowhere, like a seagull soaring down to chew on a rabbit, was that Enya bird, singin’ about Orinocoes and what have you. I put down me lager-top and went right up there to give them a piece of my mind, but by the time I got to the iPod, a Mariah Carey song came on, that’s when all hell broke loose. Innit’. While Mossart and the rest of Gorefox were outside the wedding venue enjoying a few snakebites on their break, things went from bad to worse, with songs by Nik Kershaw, Belinda Carlisle, Simply Red, Lionel Richie, Val Doonican and Maroon 5 all making an appearance before a shellshocked audience. Father of the bride, Steve ‘The Pistol from Bristol’ Lyons said; ‘F***in’ Enya? New Age? If s*** like that is f***in’ New c***ing age, then bring me back to the bastard middle ages, bubonic plague an’ all. Give’s some more Clash, innit’.

Bridegroom, Dessie ‘Desmond’ Giltrap, ‘It’s disappointing really. We invited Gorefox as we’d been fans for years. Len set up his playlist for us, and the iPod started playing a shuffled mix, and it was then that we saw how dark his soul was. Singing about political oppression and racial profiling, all while maintaining that all-important punk ethos is one thing, but when it’s offset with the thoughts of a member of that band dancing around at home to Bananarama, well, all bets are off, innit’.

As for Mossart, we did try to call him several times, to get his side of the story, but he was unavailable. It was interesting to note however, that the on-hold music for his landline included several songs by Crass, Conflict and Anti-Nowhere League, but also ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton. Gorefox, who had two singles, ‘Bastard Sons of the Daughter Electra’ and the punk-ballad ‘Doreen’ skim the lower reaches of the Billboard Top 100 in 1984, are expected to begin interviewing for a new bassist/backing vocalist in the coming weeks.

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